"You don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you anymore."
The Sham Couple Splits
in Merida, Venezuela

After four months of travel and nine border crossings, the blogosphere's most beloved sham union has reached its limits, according Sparticus Hitchings, trusted lawyer of literary giants, Drs. Ooter and Martha McHaggis.

"I traveled to South America to ensure the separation proceedings do not conform to any local, state, or international laws. The union was a sham. The shamvorce is following suit."

The McHaggises, who were in Cucuta, Colombia facilitating a seminar on the Joycisms of Colombian poet Miguel Mendez Camacho, crossed the Venezuelan border to console their personal friends. Answering reporters' questions about the famed traveling pair's most recent personal turbulences, Dr. McHaggis spontaneously thumbed a page of Finnegans Wake at random and answered, "This is what Joyce had to say about the sham couple's split."

"Thus we cannot escape our likes and mislikes, exiles or ambusheers, beggar and neighbour and --- this is where the dime-show advertisers advance the temporal relief plea --- let us be tolderant of antipathies. Nex quovis burro num fit mercaseus? I am not hereby giving my final endorsement to the learned ignorants of the Cusanus philosophism in which old Nicholas pegs it down that the smarter the spin of the top the sounder the span of the buttom (what the worthy old auberginiste ought to have meant was: the more stolidly immobile in space appears to me the bottom which is presented to use in time by the top primomobilisk &c.). And I shall be misunderstord if understood to give an unconditional sinequam to the heroicised furibouts of the Nolanus theory, or, at any rate, of that substrate of apart from hissheory where the Theophil swoors that on principial he was the pointing start of his odiose by comparison and that whiles eggs will fall cheapened all over the walled the Bure will be dear on the Brie."

Added Hitchings "Every time they settled into a colorful latin American hotel room, she'd start rapin' at him, and plunging her stinkfeet in his face. He'd threaten death, and she'd threaten to defecate in his shoes. The time had come."

The shamwife will be taking a couple days' of bedbuses for Ciudad Bolivar, where she will be working at the Botanical Garden on the banks of the river Orinoco. In exchange for room and board, she'll be intentorying and illustrating birds, working in the herbarium and greenhouse, and assisting Venezuelan botanists Wilmer Diaz-Perez and Francisco Delascio Chitty with their expeditions.

Her shamspouse will be off to Caracas to surf couches, grope destiny, and write about the revolution.

The sham couple is expected to reunite in due time to continue their work in progress, A Day as Tramps and Other Days. Future posts to the blog can be expected from both Shamsters.