Dateline: The Chinese Capital
Playing Monopoly and Viewing the Great Helmsman's Body in Flipflops

I'm staying with an old colleague from Qingdao. She's got a job in Beijing working for Hasbro. She's in charge of translating all the instructions of Hasbro toys into Chinese. This means she's one of the first Chinese people to play with many of the toys that my generation grew up with: My Little Pony, Transformers, Play-Dough, Legos, and Milton Bradley games like Monopoly. It's not all fun and games. She's also gotta market these things. Right now there are about ten stores in Beijing selling these things. After so many years of all of these things being made in China, it's nice to see that Chinese finally get to play with what they've been manufacturing.

While my friend was off playing, I went to Tiananmen Square. I had a vague desire to see Chairman Mao's corpse, so that's what I attempted to do.

I got there early enough to visit the Maosoleum. People were already lined up.

I deposited my bags in the building across the street from the square. Then I got in line.

"Oh, no. No sandals, sir."

"Why?"

"It's a rule."

"But why?"

"Because you can't wear sandals inside."

I think this may have something to do with the word "sandal" and "slipper" being more or less interchangeable in Chinese.

I was fed up with this. It was hot. I was tired. I walked off.

One of the men followed me. He took me to a little area off to the side where he pulled out another pair of sandals from a burlap bag.

"You wear these."

"But these are sandals too!"

"No, they have a back on them."

I was wearing flip-flops.

"Can I rent these?"

"No, 30 kuai."

I laughed. "Ten."

"No, sir, these are very nice sandals. All the foreigners are wearing this kind of sandal."

I assured him that no one I knew was wearing "weida" brand sandals. I undid the velcro and kicked off the sandals.

"I've had enough of this. This is stupid."

"No, sir, come back. Your Chinese is very good. I'll let you in."

We walked back to the entrance. One of the other guards got in my face again. "It's impolite to wear sandals. This is Chinese culture."

The man who tried to sell me sandals just waved him off and pushed me in.

"You give me ten kuai and I'll let you in."

I pulled out a ten-spot and got in the middle of the crowd. I still had twenty minutes of line and guards lined the way. None of them did anything about my sandals. They were more concerned with keeping people from tripping over themselves to rush in and buy 2 kuai "fresh flowers" to honor Chairman Mao. They were plastic.

I didn't think Mao's body was too nice looking. I took a picture with Deng Xiao Ping instead. He's somebody who didn't try to fool anybody about the value of money.